For those who have read the blog for awhile, I have shared several times the internal struggle I have had about Peyton's trach. It took me much longer than Travis to accept the trach and the role it will cotinue to play in our lives - however long that may be. Although I will never stop hoping that Peyton will eventually be decannulated, I no longer see the trach as a barrier to life now I see it as a mechanism to living life as fully as possible for Peyton. For me it was my moment of truth when I came to that realization for myversionofmylife it was her "aha" moment. Please take a minute to read her words - not only are they beautifully written but they capture so perfectly the same struggle I had been having. It's not often I "meet" people who truly understand the emotions that come along with this journey so when I read posts like what myversionofmylife has written and know that she totally gets it I feel a little less alone in the world.
http://myversionofmylife.blogspot.com/2011/03/still-gage.html
Thank-you for your sweet words.
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It is baffling isn't it, it is baffling how our minds try to cope with all we have been dealt. It's a coping mechanism that works so that we are able to function.
I understand so much now; there were times I was so afraid to go out for fear of the stares, those stares are what would put me back into the grieving process all over again. When I was home he was just Gage, and I would even forget he had the trach.
Now, I feel as though, he has a trach...well so what?! It does not define him, it will not define me, I will not let that piece of plastic be the premise of where my happiness lays.
It feels like freedom.
Hugs to you.
you guys are so so strong.....kelly...
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