Saturday, May 7th, 2011

A note from Mommy:

This won't be the last time it happens and it certainly wasn't the first time but each time it does my heart gets bruised just a little more. With some decent weather Peyton and I took the opportunity to go the local park.  There were a handful of children around us but one little girl - probably around 7 - was obviously staring at Peyton.  Every where Peyton would go, the little girl would follow and just blatantly stare.  Feeling a little uncomfortable, I decided to head away from the slides to an area off on it's own with a ride on toy.  Sure enough, the little girl followed and stood right in front of Peyton, her eyes huge and mouth hanging open.  For now, Peyton is still completely unaware of the lack of social graces the girl was showing but I was starting to get a little irritated.  In an attempt to help the situation, I asked the girl very nicely "do you have some questions because if you do that would be okay".  But she became embarrased and walked away.  When we went to play on the slides later she was still hanging around, this time bringing a friend with her to join in the fun but kept a little more distance.  Although Peyton didn't care I was tired of feeling ill at ease when I was supposed to be enjoying myself with Peyton so she and I went off to a grassy area to play soccer away from all the stares.  We went back to the slides after that family left and came across another group of children who were more than willing to ask questions - much more my comfort zone!

Later I felt a little guilty that I was being unfair to Peyton and essentially punishing her by taking her away from the slides so I wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable.   Although there is plenty of literature on how to care for a trach and we had lots of training before ever leaving the hospital with Peyton - there isn't any program in place to prepare us for these type of situations.  I can only hope that Peyton is more adept at this as she gets older because I am certainly not an expert!